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Reparenting your Inner Child – Journeying towards the Sacred Feminine
We are all products of a dysfunctional society. Our society has devalued the feminine aspects of humanity – intuition; psychic abilities and emotions (only some emotions are “acceptable”). This has affected people for generations.
If our mothers were not attuned to their needs and desires because of the wounds they sustained as they grew up they would not have been able to respond to our needs and desires. This meant we may never have learned how to nurture ourselves fully emotionally.
We may have learned that feeling rage, or grief, or even joy was bad or wrong. We may have learned to turn to food or alcohol or even work to supply emotional needs that were not met.
All of this we need to face so that we can start to heal our wounds and reestablish a connection with the full range of our emotional nature. This journey may be difficult and it might be best for some people to seek a counselor or therapist to proceed.
The raging infant or child in us that was not heard can be a frightening and overwhelming. A monster or a witch. All emotional states if repressed will lash out when recovered – our soul wants to be heard – to live. All goddesses, if neglected, become angry.
The following questions come from “The Astrology of Self-Discovery” by Tracy Marks. They are designed to help people reflect on the parenting they received so that they can begin to heal the wounds they may have suffered by not having their emotions and needs valued and addressed as they grew up.
The aim is to ultimately understand what we needed; what we didn’t get and how, as an adult, heal the wounds and make the effort to establish more nurturing habits in our lives so that we can truly feel and feed all of our needs and desires. Becoming the parent to our inner child in the healthiest way possible.
After answering the questions, the Marks describes the emotional needs of the moon signs and what can happen if people don’t get the nurturing that suits their emotional nature. It’s best to answer the questions first and then consider what your moon sign shows you need to feel emotionally fulfilled and how you might respond if these needs aren’t met.
Answering the questions first let’s you reflect on your experiences and will help to highlight what did and didn’t nurture you when you compare it to what the moon sign shows.
Having answered the questions myself, I was surprised to find that some of the nurturing I received from my mother was something that was more sustaining than I had realized. And also why certain things in my life do not sustain me and how I can now choose different patterns of behavior so that I am the best parent of the inner child I have.
Having a little bit of knowledge (always a dangerous thing!) about the moon signs already I knew what mine represented but I had never connected it to my inner growth as a child. I have much more respect for this part of my nature now. Much more respect for the goddess . And of course, the journey continues!
If, after finishing the questions, you would like to have a description of what your particular moon sign needs to feel nurtured, let me know and I’ll be happy to copy out what is said and pass it along to you.
Reparenting Your Inner Child
1. Describe your temperament as a child – ages 3-5, 8-10, 13-14
2. Describe your mother or most significant parent figure.
3. What was your experience of your needs and feelings, and how did you deal with them and express them? How did your parent respond to your: needs. . .wants/desires . . .fear. . . pain/hurt, anger . . .joy?
4. Describe your relationship to your parents and how you received love/approval and rejection/punishment/disapproval. How and when did your parents express approval and disapproval?
5. What did your parents expect from you? What “shoulds” did they place upon you? How did they nurture you or refrain from nurturing you?
6. What was your experience of feeling loved, feeling safe/secure, feeling o.k./worthy?
7. How does your inner child function within you today?
8. How do you parent yourself today as your parents did in the past? What detrimental patterns are you continuing from the past?
9. What new attitudes or behaviors do you wish to develop to replace those detrimental patterns?
10. What real needs aren’t being met in your life, and how might you meet them? how else might you more fully love, nourish and affirm yourself?
11. What message or mantra (such as “You are o.k. exactly the way you are” or “You don’t have to be perfect” or “It’s all right to be afraid”) does your inner child most need to hear?
1. Repeat your message (#11) to your inner child several times a day. Ask your friends to express it to you frequently.
2. Write or speak to your inner child daily, establishing a dialogue. Get to know him/her. Learn how to win his/her trust. Using a doll or stuffed animal which has special meaning to you may be helpful.
3. Obtain Joe Cocker’s song, “You Are So Beautiful to Me,” and sing it aloud to your inner child, loudly, at least three times in a row. Do this daily, or several times a week and discover the love and radiance you possess and can experience and express when your inner child feels nurtured and valued.
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