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  #51  
Old 09-06-2011, 09:24 PM
debabbott debabbott is offline
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Going to bed now to get some real good sleep. Love you all, Deb
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  #52  
Old 09-06-2011, 10:08 PM
bkswanson bkswanson is offline
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Default For Deb & Sean

Keeping you in my prayers and in my heart.

Love you
bks
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  #53  
Old 09-07-2011, 10:41 AM
monti1980 monti1980 is offline
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Default Your words have helped me Deb

Dear Deb,
Your words have really gave me something to think about. I have read and reread your letter and have truely thought about what you said about in trusting in what we do. I have been blaming myself for what I did wrong in his situation and what I could have done different to save him. But maybe this was his path to take, I don't know... It is like you said we are mothers and we will always love and want to hold on to them, but it is a solo journey that we all must take. I hope I can learn that what we want for them is not always what their soul's journey is to be and learn to accept what is to be. As painful as it is because all I want is to put my arms around him and tell him how much I miss him and how proud I am of him. I know that is very selfish of me, I want to believe he is really in a better place and is home and I will see him again and know why we go through what we do. I just wish I knew what lesson I am supposed to be learning. Maybe loss I have lost so many in my life, I don't know...
How loving and strong you are to be with your son and truely want what is his wants. I know as a mom you are in so much pain, for that is the worst pain in life, to see our children hurting and not being able to help them. There is your paradox again. Thank you again for taking the time in your life to talk to me, there again is the paradox I am reaching out to you trying to comfort you and instead you did it for me. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you, Peg, or Sean and if it is at all possible I will. Thank you again and know that you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers, monti
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  #54  
Old 09-07-2011, 02:49 PM
sunni6ft sunni6ft is offline
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Post Deb and Peg and Sean

Your strength and insight amaze me and are beautiful, you inspire me and remind me of who I used to be before I lost my husband.

You have grace and courage and I am so grateful to you for taking me under your wing in chat. I am sending you prayers on wings of angels and butterflies.

with love new friend,
Sunni/Jane
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  #55  
Old 09-07-2011, 04:29 PM
sisterlura sisterlura is offline
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Oh, my. I don't know how this is is quite happening, but I'm absolutely warmed to the core by what is occurring in this thread. Sooo many kindred spirits united in love and healing energy for Deb - Sean - Peg ... now I've added Monti and her still-raw grief .....

This just blows me away!

Please believe me, all, that I mean this in only the kindest, most sincere way when I say that THIS MOMENT is the most hope I've felt for humankind in a very, very long time. So much love and generosity of spirit is coming through you all .... THIS is what Sean's purpose is, perhaps?

Every day, first thing, I check this site to see if there's an updated report on how he and Deb are doing. Whtever is happening, it is intensely spirit-filled.

Love to all,
Lura
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  #56  
Old 09-07-2011, 07:15 PM
debabbott debabbott is offline
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Default To the all of you

To the all of you that have not only posted on this thread but that have viewed the intense love here, I thank you all. For your energies help me to go forward and that of my son as well, along with Peg.

There is an outpouring of love here and that is so beautiful to witness and to behold. I cherish each and everyone of your remarks that you have stated here and thank you for your loving energies that are assisting us along our way.

Peg has recovered some of Seans writings, while he was here with us, and using my laptop. She is updating anti-virus software and all that I need to proceed. Yes, I am totally grateful for her assistance, totally. So she will be posting a couple of poems that he shared with us while here as well as a couple of pictures so that you all may know better who he is.

I know, for me, that I am learning so very much from this experience. As I hold him in my heart, I am finding depths of my heart that I never knew existed. And with the all of you sharing this with me and sending your loving energies, I find myself exploding with all of your love and care. I just want you all to know how very much it means to me for you to be here with me. I have to say, I do need you all and so appreciate all of your attentiveness.

Now, for an update on Sean. For all of you who do not know his history, let me share. My Sean has been suffering from Chrone's Disease and has been in and out of the hospital many times in the last two years. Chrone's is an inflammatory disease of the intestines which can cause abcesses on his intestines and other vital organs. He had a portion of his intestines removed
two years ago and since then has suffered from multiple "flare ups" which rendered him in the hospital over and over again. Much pain has accompanied these flare ups. Thus he has been on pain medication for the last two years and he got addicted to the pain meds which he told me has been the greatest beast that he has ever confronted. The doctors say that it is not uncommon for Chrone's patients to get addicted to pain meds.

If one has not experienced Chrone's it is difficult for them to realize the excruiciating pain that accompanies it.

Anyway, from todays update from his doctors, he has had jaundice and fever the last few days. They did a cat scan and discovered a small lesion on his liver. They say this is from his Chrone's and not his injuries. So, they called in an Infectious Disease Doctor and she said she thought she could treat this with antibiotics and that they could continue with the surgeries to repair his major injuries as that is imperative that they do this at this time in order to avoid further complications.

So tomorrow, they will be proceeding with surgeries on his legs and right arm. The second doctor will take over after the legs are done to do surgery on his right arm. All in all it will be surgery for about 9 or 10 hours. I will be awaiting calls from the docs for results. They asked me again if I wished to wave the DNR (do not resusitate) order that Sean desires. I said, "No, I have to honor his wishes.

So, tomorrow is going to be another day of suspense. But I know that whatever happens will be his desires, not mine. And that is what I hold most precious to me, his desires, I must honor his wishes.

So, I thank you all for continuing to be here with me, us, and to all of your support. I am so very grateful that we are not going through this alone. Though it is a solo journey for us all, it is so wonderful to have a cheering section to bless us on our way.

My love and gratitude to you all.

Love, Deb
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  #57  
Old 09-07-2011, 07:36 PM
angelsong angelsong is offline
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I am just adoring how beautiful the showing of love and support that has been happening in this thread. It truly reminds me of a family gathering together. The real kind.


This board has been thru so many ups and downs over the years but one thing you can truly say is that "we got heart" And we love each other.


I also noticed how in the face of just about the most horrific thing I think I have personally heard, Deb has shown her strength and vulnerability to all of us in loving sharing.


So much wisdom, Deb. I think the biggest lesson we all face is in our lives is unconditional love and acceptence....to let go and let be the course of love, knowing that it has "purpose" even if in the process it breaks our heart. That's not an easy one and it isn't something that can be spoken into belief or handed down from another person....it is something that requires our full awareness and lifelong experience of allowing ourselves to feel fully and address honestly where love is taking us and what it is showing us. In truth, nothing is ever, ever lost. Love remains with us like a mighty lifeline of truth always....the great teacher. God/Creator moving thru us. I understand very deeply the words that you are speaking from that place of Love....you trust it and it will give you all the strength you need just as it has always done. Love is never quiet and tends to leave its calling card around in as many places as you are capable of seeing

I know that you and Sean have a huge mountain to climb but you are doing it together...Mother and son...and yes, there is something incredibly raw and beautiful about that. It's almost like you are starting over from the beginning. One day at a time. It's amazing how strong the human spirit is.

I love you, Deb and I am here for you in any way you need me. You and Sean have remained in my heart and in my thoughts constantly since this happened and will continue to be.

Prayers night and day with Golden Light and Love,

Angelsong
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  #58  
Old 09-07-2011, 07:58 PM
debabbott debabbott is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monti1980
Dear Deb,
Your words have really gave me something to think about. I have read and reread your letter and have truely thought about what you said about in trusting in what we do. I have been blaming myself for what I did wrong in his situation and what I could have done different to save him. But maybe this was his path to take, I don't know... It is like you said we are mothers and we will always love and want to hold on to them, but it is a solo journey that we all must take. I hope I can learn that what we want for them is not always what their soul's journey is to be and learn to accept what is to be. As painful as it is because all I want is to put my arms around him and tell him how much I miss him and how proud I am of him. I know that is very selfish of me, I want to believe he is really in a better place and is home and I will see him again and know why we go through what we do. I just wish I knew what lesson I am supposed to be learning. Maybe loss I have lost so many in my life, I don't know...
How loving and strong you are to be with your son and truely want what is his wants. I know as a mom you are in so much pain, for that is the worst pain in life, to see our children hurting and not being able to help them. There is your paradox again. Thank you again for taking the time in your life to talk to me, there again is the paradox I am reaching out to you trying to comfort you and instead you did it for me. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you, Peg, or Sean and if it is at all possible I will. Thank you again and know that you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers, monti


Monti,
As we traverse through the planes of experience, sometimes, we have no clue of the outcome, the reason, or why. We only know that we are in the the experiencing of it. It is often, not until later that we can define what all the experience offers us.

And so it is.

I don't know the outcome of this, my experience with my son. But I am determined to feel it fully and to take from it all that it offers. I love my son from the depths of my heart, as I am certain, you all know. All I know right now is that I have to "walk in beauty" no matter what the experience. And that is what I am determined to do. My son knows of my beliefs and though at times, he has questioned. Nevertheless, he knows that I know. And I know that know and that seems to be the only thing that matters at this time.

Much love to the all of you as we all walk through this experience together. I am so very grateful for the all of you.

Love, Deb
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  #59  
Old 09-07-2011, 07:59 PM
OneLight OneLight is offline
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Default Mother and Son...

Mother and Son… (Angelsong, we were both writing at the same time!)

I am in awe at the beauty of this thread, which is filled to overflowing with so many feelings (love, acceptance, allowance, peace, caring, to name a few). Your honest sharings of self-reflection help each of us to get in touch with our emotions and address questions we all ask ourselves at one time or another in our experiences. Sharing our thoughts with each other gently opens the gates of current awareness to contemplate other possibilities. I thank each and every one of you for sharing the gift of yourself in this way. It is more precious than gold.

I thought you all might like to get to know Sean a little better, so as Deb as mentioned in her post, we will be sharing some of his writings. But first, I’d like to share one of my favorite photos of the two of them taken in Dec of 2008…

Namaste….Peg
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  #60  
Old 09-07-2011, 08:18 PM
angelsong angelsong is offline
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Thank you Peg for sharing this. This offers an image to go with our prayers.

Handsome son and proud Momma Deb.

Much love,
Angelsong
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