Oh Brit, you are going to love this, I certainly did. After I read this, I felt the pull to go out my back door for a breath of fresh air. And there on the grass, was not one, but two little white feathers. I smiled and knew that your Dad is, indeed, with us - yes. I put them in the note that Sean had written that I am keeping with me in my purse.

I'm taking the bus back to Ft. Worth later this week. Sean's Uncle Don is getting Sean's car ready for me to use while there and I will be staying with my lifelong friends there. So, all is working in accord for me to return to be with my son. And I am so grateful for everything and for everyone who has come to our aide. In the worst tragedies there are many bright moments and love seems to shine "It's" brightest. I so feel all the love surrounding us.

Thank you all for your tender loving care. I'm taking my laptop with me so I can keep in touch this time. Don't know what day I will be leaving - as soon as all is coordinated. I'll let you know.

Love, Deb

__________________
Life Is Opportunity
Imagination - the Beginning of Creation
Life is Good
Belief Becomes

Oh my dear Monti,
My heart goes out to you. There is something about a Mother's Love that just totally amazes me. How does one describe it? There are no boundaries, no conditions, it just is, pure and perfect as the newborn that came from our womb. I bless my son for allowing me to know that perfect love. And I bless my son now, for giving me the opportunity to live that love fully.

I had a Near Death Experience myself back in 1994 and I was so pissed off that I came back because it was such a beautiful feeling to be in. But alas, I did return and what I learned from that experience was, "The only thing I can take with me is what I have given." It took me sometime to learn that all I really had to give was the gift of my trueself and apparently, I hadn't accommplished that at that time. Now, I am feeling that I am getting closer to that, day by day, experience by experience.

And in this experience, though it seems so tragic, I am finding the beauty in it. As I think about it, everything that I have ever created, whether it be in painting, sewing, crocheting, ceramics, my music and singing, my writings and poetry and most of all my son, they were all created in love and inspiration. So, I know that we were all created in love from our Creator. So, we are all filled with love, it just sometimes get obscured from this life's experiences. So, we have to seek the light of our love - for some that means transition - for others it means walking through the darkness yet knowing the light is surrounding us and in us - we just have to take our blinders off. And again, it is all a choice. And all choices are acceptable - there really are no mistakes, just paths to get us to where we need to be. I have to look at it from a higher plane of vision; otherwise, nothing makes sense. Do you know what I mean?

I recognized when I was in high school that the hardest lesson in life to learn is acceptance. Acceptance of another's choices and not to judge them for their choices but to recognize that everyone has their own path to follow, whether that is in accordance with my own wishes or not. Of course, we all want to be happy. And sometimes we have to look for that happiness in the puzzle of life. And I have found happiness in acceptance.

So many times we want to blame ourselves for another's actions. But alas, we cannot, for we really have no control of another's actions. All we have control of is our actions and reactions. And if we are confident in our choices, then all else follows suit. I have learned that it is not what happens to me but how I react to it that determines my happiness.

So, yes, I am now happy that I can return to my son. And whether he chooses to stay on this lifeplane or go on to another, I will be happy for him in his choices. For I believe that his higher self will determine what is best for his highest good. And that is all I can intend, is his highest good and mine.

My highest good is to accept what is and to be the best that I can be for me. I told my son a while back, that we are on a solo journey but we are never alone. Quite a paradox, huh? But I think that is what this life is - a paradox and quite a beautiful one to experience.

Thank you Monti, for allowing me to write this to you. This experience is helping me to so confirm for me what is true for me and that which brings peace to my soul. I suppose that is my purpose in this time is to find peace in every circumstance, in every experience no matter what it may be.

Everyday is a new day filled with possibilities. And it is our choices that determine how we wish to experience each day.

I intend for your highest good, Monti, whatever that may be. Thank for for your love, your prayers and intentions for me and my son.

With a loving heart I share this, Deb

__________________
Life Is Opportunity
Imagination - the Beginning of Creation
Life is Good
Belief Becomes

a candle burns for Sean...
and i lit one for you too. Soft Grin...

Love,
Chi

__________________
((((((( A Wish for All )))))))
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3TeskgpWvE&feature=related

Thanks, Caged for your uplifting remarks.

Love, Deb

__________________
Life Is Opportunity
Imagination - the Beginning of Creation
Life is Good
Belief Becomes

Thanks, my friend.

Love you, Deb

__________________
Life Is Opportunity
Imagination - the Beginning of Creation
Life is Good
Belief Becomes

Thanks my sweet most dearest friend,
It is amazing isn't it? How circumstances and experiences bring us to our inner core of being and allows us to come to grips what we really know to be true for ourselves.

I am most grateful for all the love and care that has been extended here. I know that we will all come to some greater understanding throughout all of this. You have been so supportive in so many ways, as you have always been. Your light always shines so bright.

I am so grateful to have you as my dearest friend.

With greatest of love and thankfulness, Deb

__________________
Life Is Opportunity
Imagination - the Beginning of Creation
Life is Good
Belief Becomes

Thank you my dear sisterlura,
This time has brought me to a strength that I didn't even know I could possess at a time like this. It is amazing what one can find in what appears to be such a tragedy. But I certainly have. The pouring out of love from so very many from so many different venaculars.

I am so grateful that you all are walking this path with me in your own ways. That is so very beautiful to me. Yes, we walk a solo path in the way we respond to any circumstance or experience. But, the overwhelming love that is surrounding us now is so very beautiful and lends me the strength to go forward.

Your loving tender caring is so beautiful and I am so grateful for all the support that I have. All will be well, no matter the outcome. I know this to be true for me.

Love you, dear one, and thank you for your posts, your prayers and your love. Deb

__________________
Life Is Opportunity
Imagination - the Beginning of Creation
Life is Good
Belief Becomes

Dear C,

Thank you so very much for your loving tender care, your prayers and loving intentions.

Not quite sure of what your perception of detachment is but let me share with you what I am feeling. I have to say that I am so totally entrenched with the attachment to this situation with my son that I am seeping in it and that is what holds my whole of attention right now. I do not feel detached in any way but more so enthralled in all that is going on.

I suppose there is a difference between detachment and acceptance. Yes, I accept this situaion but I am so not detached from it. I am in it fully and experiencing it. My heart bleeds when my son bleeds. I struggle with communication between us as does he. My heart is heavy to see him go through all of this pain and these surgeries. I want so much to just hold him in my arms and rock him like I used to do when he was but a baby. I want to sing to him like I used to do. I want him to know that he is so very loved. There is no detachment in that.

I understand how some people may think that I am detached because I am not screaming at the top of my lungs. But in my heart, I am. I want to make everything better for him. Isn't that what mothers do? But I can't and that is what I have to accept. I can only be there for him as he goes through all of this trauma. Oh yes, I am feeling all of that from my head to my toes. But I have to accept that to be there for him. I have to maintain, to be there for him or else I couldn't stand it.

So, I'm loving you my friend, and hoping that you understand where I am coming from - a deep well of love in total attachment for that which I love, but attempting to proceed for the betterment of all. Am I hurting, oh yes.

Love, Deb

__________________
Life Is Opportunity
Imagination - the Beginning of Creation
Life is Good
Belief Becomes

I see now what a poor choice of words that was. Of course you are hurting. That is not what I meant. What I meant is that you can still somehow stand above everything (like your hawks) and see that from a higher perspective Sean's circumstances are a gathering force for love and concern in others. And his choices are his own. Peg said it best in her recent post. She has such a gift for words. I know all you really want is to gather him in your arms and just hold him. Comfort him. It's what I would do for you if you were in arm's reach.

So please forgive me, my friend. I know how deep is your pain. Love, C.

__________________
HAND, Cher O.

My father says almost the whole world is asleep.
Everyone you know, everyone you see, everyone you talk to.
He says that only a few people are awake and
they live in a state of constant total amazement.
...Joe vs. The Volcano

I know C, because you know me so well. I just wanted to address the difference between detachment and just dealing with it. Though we be in pain, we can still deal with it.

And that is simply what I am doing, just dealing with itl.

Love you, Deb

__________________
Life Is Opportunity
Imagination - the Beginning of Creation
Life is Good
Belief Becomes