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  #41  
Old 09-06-2011, 03:18 PM
debabbott debabbott is offline
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Originally Posted by Brit
Dearest Deb
Keeping you and Sean in my prayers and energy work.

This morning as I read the posts here a white feather came gently floating into my room thru a partially open window... It was a reminder that we have the support of the seen and unseen realities when we need it most. I think you both have angels helping now... Maybe a special one that delivered a calling card earlier today.

Keeping you in light, energy, and blanketed in love
BE


Oh Brit, you are going to love this, I certainly did. After I read this, I felt the pull to go out my back door for a breath of fresh air. And there on the grass, was not one, but two little white feathers. I smiled and knew that your Dad is, indeed, with us - yes. I put them in the note that Sean had written that I am keeping with me in my purse.

I'm taking the bus back to Ft. Worth later this week. Sean's Uncle Don is getting Sean's car ready for me to use while there and I will be staying with my lifelong friends there. So, all is working in accord for me to return to be with my son. And I am so grateful for everything and for everyone who has come to our aide. In the worst tragedies there are many bright moments and love seems to shine "It's" brightest. I so feel all the love surrounding us.

Thank you all for your tender loving care. I'm taking my laptop with me so I can keep in touch this time. Don't know what day I will be leaving - as soon as all is coordinated. I'll let you know.

Love, Deb
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  #42  
Old 09-06-2011, 04:34 PM
debabbott debabbott is offline
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Originally Posted by monti1980
Deb I am new here only since May2011. My thoughts and prayers are for you and your son Sean. I lost my 30 yr old son in April he had many problems and I am just finding out about them. It has been the hardest thing in my life so far that I have had to deal with, so my grief is still fresh and why you are on my mind so much. You sound like a very strong and spiritual person and I hope I will learn alot from you and the website. Until then know that my prayers are with you all. May you have the strength to be there for Sean in any way that may be. Know that we wish the best for you all. Monti


Oh my dear Monti,
My heart goes out to you. There is something about a Mother's Love that just totally amazes me. How does one describe it? There are no boundaries, no conditions, it just is, pure and perfect as the newborn that came from our womb. I bless my son for allowing me to know that perfect love. And I bless my son now, for giving me the opportunity to live that love fully.

I had a Near Death Experience myself back in 1994 and I was so pissed off that I came back because it was such a beautiful feeling to be in. But alas, I did return and what I learned from that experience was, "The only thing I can take with me is what I have given." It took me sometime to learn that all I really had to give was the gift of my trueself and apparently, I hadn't accommplished that at that time. Now, I am feeling that I am getting closer to that, day by day, experience by experience.

And in this experience, though it seems so tragic, I am finding the beauty in it. As I think about it, everything that I have ever created, whether it be in painting, sewing, crocheting, ceramics, my music and singing, my writings and poetry and most of all my son, they were all created in love and inspiration. So, I know that we were all created in love from our Creator. So, we are all filled with love, it just sometimes get obscured from this life's experiences. So, we have to seek the light of our love - for some that means transition - for others it means walking through the darkness yet knowing the light is surrounding us and in us - we just have to take our blinders off. And again, it is all a choice. And all choices are acceptable - there really are no mistakes, just paths to get us to where we need to be. I have to look at it from a higher plane of vision; otherwise, nothing makes sense. Do you know what I mean?

I recognized when I was in high school that the hardest lesson in life to learn is acceptance. Acceptance of another's choices and not to judge them for their choices but to recognize that everyone has their own path to follow, whether that is in accordance with my own wishes or not. Of course, we all want to be happy. And sometimes we have to look for that happiness in the puzzle of life. And I have found happiness in acceptance.

So many times we want to blame ourselves for another's actions. But alas, we cannot, for we really have no control of another's actions. All we have control of is our actions and reactions. And if we are confident in our choices, then all else follows suit. I have learned that it is not what happens to me but how I react to it that determines my happiness.

So, yes, I am now happy that I can return to my son. And whether he chooses to stay on this lifeplane or go on to another, I will be happy for him in his choices. For I believe that his higher self will determine what is best for his highest good. And that is all I can intend, is his highest good and mine.

My highest good is to accept what is and to be the best that I can be for me. I told my son a while back, that we are on a solo journey but we are never alone. Quite a paradox, huh? But I think that is what this life is - a paradox and quite a beautiful one to experience.

Thank you Monti, for allowing me to write this to you. This experience is helping me to so confirm for me what is true for me and that which brings peace to my soul. I suppose that is my purpose in this time is to find peace in every circumstance, in every experience no matter what it may be.

Everyday is a new day filled with possibilities. And it is our choices that determine how we wish to experience each day.

I intend for your highest good, Monti, whatever that may be. Thank for for your love, your prayers and intentions for me and my son.

With a loving heart I share this, Deb
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  #43  
Old 09-06-2011, 04:39 PM
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a candle burns for Sean...
and i lit one for you too. Soft Grin...

Love,
Chi
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  #44  
Old 09-06-2011, 04:49 PM
debabbott debabbott is offline
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Originally Posted by caged
I am so sorry to hear of your son. I have been sending energy to him and will continue to do so. Sending energy also to you and peg. keep in mind that he may get better then what the Dr. s say he will. My Dr said that I was going to die too. but my angels got me through that and I got more back then they thought I would. He has help from his highher powers and may recover more use of his extrematies then expected. Sending a hug to you and to your son and peg.


Thanks, Caged for your uplifting remarks.

Love, Deb
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  #45  
Old 09-06-2011, 04:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Chi
a candle burns for Sean...
and i lit one for you too. Soft Grin...

Love,
Chi


Thanks, my friend.

Love you, Deb
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  #46  
Old 09-06-2011, 04:55 PM
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Originally Posted by OneLight
Dear Sean-y,

Although you are not in a position to read this right now, I am trusting that the loving and compassionate energies of this letter will reach you in spirit. May it bring you peace and comfort to your entire Being.

I wish to Thank You for being You. Although I do not understand all the struggles and challenges you have experienced in your life, I do know that they played out the way they did to garner lessons and growth in spiritual evolvement.

I just finished re-reading all the posts in this thread and am amazed at how just one life can touch so many others – how can we possibly deny a connection between us all? Not just your mom, but your aunts and uncles, your grandmother, your friends, the medical team, and all those here on the Boards who are surrounding you with loving energies for your highest good.

Your present situation has impulsed many of us to go deep within ourselves and get in touch with what we truly believe. And it has further urged some of us to share our thoughts, and in that sharing we are all learning from you and from each other, which is beneficial in some way to us all. It doesn’t matter whether we agree or not with each other in choices made or beliefs held in the depths of our souls. What matters is the value we each receive through the sharing in further defining our individual truth.

So Sean-y, although you may not realize it consciously, you are a wonderful Teacher for many of us. Because what you chose to do, on a much deeper level, shows a Love that can touch others at their soul level by contemplating how your actions, and all the ramifications for you and others, can raise our own awareness and release what no longer serves us. We are all in this game of Life together, and everything that we each choose to do affects those around us in some way. I am learning that I am responsible for my actions and reactions. I am learning to be at peace with choices I am making through all of this, because as difficult as some of those choices are, I am becoming a better me, and I trust that that, in some way, will be of benefit to those I love and care about.

So Thank You, Sean-y, from my heart to yours, for helping us all in some way to discern a greater awareness of Life and Love, and all it entails, at all of its levels. Blessing you and surrounding you with Love and Light…

With Love….Sweet Pea

Peg


Thanks my sweet most dearest friend,
It is amazing isn't it? How circumstances and experiences bring us to our inner core of being and allows us to come to grips what we really know to be true for ourselves.

I am most grateful for all the love and care that has been extended here. I know that we will all come to some greater understanding throughout all of this. You have been so supportive in so many ways, as you have always been. Your light always shines so bright.

I am so grateful to have you as my dearest friend.

With greatest of love and thankfulness, Deb
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  #47  
Old 09-06-2011, 05:14 PM
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Originally Posted by sisterlura
Dear Deb,

Although we have never met, I can't begin to tell you what a powerful impact this journey that you and Sean are currently on is having on me. Thank you so much for sharing so openly with us here. I am in awe of your strenth, courage, inner wisdom and surrender to what is.

You & Sean are on my mind 24/7 and I keep putting myself in your shoes and wondering: could I EVER be so brave if my son Scott was in the bed instead of Sean? I think not; I pray yes. You are teaching me so much about how to graciously let go of so much .... to accept ... and to use every experience as a learning lesson. THANK YOU FOR THIS.

I pray mightily for your continued strength and guidance in the days ahead, Deb. May peace be - and - stay with you, and may light and love wrap you in snugness.

Love,
Lura



Thank you my dear sisterlura,
This time has brought me to a strength that I didn't even know I could possess at a time like this. It is amazing what one can find in what appears to be such a tragedy. But I certainly have. The pouring out of love from so very many from so many different venaculars.

I am so grateful that you all are walking this path with me in your own ways. That is so very beautiful to me. Yes, we walk a solo path in the way we respond to any circumstance or experience. But, the overwhelming love that is surrounding us now is so very beautiful and lends me the strength to go forward.

Your loving tender caring is so beautiful and I am so grateful for all the support that I have. All will be well, no matter the outcome. I know this to be true for me.

Love you, dear one, and thank you for your posts, your prayers and your love. Deb
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  #48  
Old 09-06-2011, 07:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Cher O
I am so sorry you and Sean (and Peg) are going thru this.

You are an amazing spirit as I know Sean is. So as you ask, I am praying for the highest good of Sean, whatever that may be.... and of course the highest good for yourself and Peg.

I just cannot imagine how difficult this must be for all of you, tho I identify enough to sit here with tears in my eyes, so if this is full of typos, please understand.

I don't know if I could be as brave and open as you are being, Deb, if this were my son.... I tend to clutch at those around me even tho I believe the same things you do. For some reason, physical presence means everything to me.

Perhaps I can learn detachment from you and your strong belief in another existence.... I had that conviction once and lost it. Perhaps thru your and Sean's dynamic, I can get it back again. There is a lesson for all of us in this.

I have lost three relatives in the last two weeks. And my mother is 89 and my in-laws are in their 90's so more loss in the next few years is inevitable. I hope I can learn equanimity from you and your circumstances.

I am sorry I spent so much time talking about myself. But your situation was such a shock to my system I probably am not making sense at all.

Just let me close this by telling you I love you and am sending my intention for the highest good. I am sure the Universe knows what that is.

Love, C.


Dear C,

Thank you so very much for your loving tender care, your prayers and loving intentions.

Not quite sure of what your perception of detachment is but let me share with you what I am feeling. I have to say that I am so totally entrenched with the attachment to this situation with my son that I am seeping in it and that is what holds my whole of attention right now. I do not feel detached in any way but more so enthralled in all that is going on.

I suppose there is a difference between detachment and acceptance. Yes, I accept this situaion but I am so not detached from it. I am in it fully and experiencing it. My heart bleeds when my son bleeds. I struggle with communication between us as does he. My heart is heavy to see him go through all of this pain and these surgeries. I want so much to just hold him in my arms and rock him like I used to do when he was but a baby. I want to sing to him like I used to do. I want him to know that he is so very loved. There is no detachment in that.

I understand how some people may think that I am detached because I am not screaming at the top of my lungs. But in my heart, I am. I want to make everything better for him. Isn't that what mothers do? But I can't and that is what I have to accept. I can only be there for him as he goes through all of this trauma. Oh yes, I am feeling all of that from my head to my toes. But I have to accept that to be there for him. I have to maintain, to be there for him or else I couldn't stand it.

So, I'm loving you my friend, and hoping that you understand where I am coming from - a deep well of love in total attachment for that which I love, but attempting to proceed for the betterment of all. Am I hurting, oh yes.

Love, Deb
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  #49  
Old 09-06-2011, 08:14 PM
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I see now what a poor choice of words that was. Of course you are hurting. That is not what I meant. What I meant is that you can still somehow stand above everything (like your hawks) and see that from a higher perspective Sean's circumstances are a gathering force for love and concern in others. And his choices are his own. Peg said it best in her recent post. She has such a gift for words. I know all you really want is to gather him in your arms and just hold him. Comfort him. It's what I would do for you if you were in arm's reach.

So please forgive me, my friend. I know how deep is your pain. Love, C.
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  #50  
Old 09-06-2011, 09:19 PM
debabbott debabbott is offline
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Originally Posted by Cher O
I see now what a poor choice of words that was. Of course you are hurting. That is not what I meant. What I meant is that you can still somehow stand above everything (like your hawks) and see that from a higher perspective Sean's circumstances are a gathering force for love and concern in others. And his choices are his own. Peg said it best in her recent post. She has such a gift for words. I know all you really want is to gather him in your arms and just hold him. Comfort him. It's what I would do for you if you were in arm's reach.

So please forgive me, my friend. I know how deep is your pain. Love, C.

I know C, because you know me so well. I just wanted to address the difference between detachment and just dealing with it. Though we be in pain, we can still deal with it.

And that is simply what I am doing, just dealing with itl.

Love you, Deb
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