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Old 02-17-2014, 08:05 AM
Azure Azure is offline
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Join Date: Dec 1969
Posts: 2,471
Default Don't Know How To Feel

ANOTHER BOOK FILLED WITH DISAPPOINTMENT

Hi

Well we are all human.

I just watched a 20/20 interview of Sachi Maclaine Parker and though some of the interview was stated by Shirley, as I remember reading some of it in Shirley' s books I felt 'What?'

I haven't been a great mother with either of my kids. But why do I constantly place others on a pedestal? Sure Shirley is in public eyes . Fantastic actress, performer and I love reading about her metaphysical beliefs and experiences. I have had some of my own as well. I am an experienced Tarot Card Reader. I have studied and have given readings for 40 years on and off for fun, and for pay.

So that is not my issue.
The thing is my disappointment in hearing all this. It Isn't so much about Shirley but about my placing people on pedestals and discovering that there are flaws if you will.

I thought the two were very close but now hear there was/is a desire of that!
I have gone through it all on both ends. Ambivalence from my son, and some confusion as he is mulatto and has never seen his father. I was left at 3 months pregnant and haven't even a photo. to show Raymond. At one point he denied his Caucasian side identifying himself as only being African American plus he is part Cherokee. I kept making appointments with Raymond to meet for lunch and he kept putting me off. Why? He didn't want people to know his mother is Caucasian. Talk about "Imitation of Life."

I have no judgment about Shirley and her relationship with Sachi just thought that she (Shirley) was perfect aka placing her on a pedestal.

Everyone has problems/issues to deal with personally.
Just felt Shirley had it all perfected. But we are all here for our lessons I guess.
I am still struggling on all levels.

Just am left a bit bewildered hearing this.

Sachi sure as hell. has a strong resemblance to Shirley too!
My daughter? No communication with her since she's 21, and she is now 38. According to FaceBook she is doing well. She earned her Master's degree in Social Work, she adopted 4 children, and is working with troubled teenage girls in a group home situation.
She could have been a professional actress as she was in CityKids. Lea had some guidance from Demi Moore and other performers who volunteered their time working with these teens who wanted to work in learning all aspects of acting. My daughter wad told when definitely had the gift.
Unfortunately there was too much negative interference from my sister. My daughter had been chosen for several commercial spots, but because my sister refused to pay the union dues AFTRA, she couldn't be used in the commercials. She did perform in Carnegie Hall, a one woman paid performace where
she was chosen for a soliloquy.
My daughter's story is in Robin Quiver' s book 'A Life', but some of the story of my daughter was almost a T.V. movie of the week & almost made concerning this part of the book. What stopped it was the movie being made by Howard Stern. It was more important for Robin working in that movie instead. (T.G.) I am referred to as Lea' s mother fyi if interested. My daughter also has a strong resemblance to me as well.
The reason I mention this is to show that I am also in that league. So what is the deal here anyway? We all do our best. And I guess I lack a lot more. What can be said?
AZURE/2014
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