Originally Posted by monti1980
Deb I am new here only since May2011. My thoughts and prayers are for you and your son Sean. I lost my 30 yr old son in April he had many problems and I am just finding out about them. It has been the hardest thing in my life so far that I have had to deal with, so my grief is still fresh and why you are on my mind so much. You sound like a very strong and spiritual person and I hope I will learn alot from you and the website. Until then know that my prayers are with you all. May you have the strength to be there for Sean in any way that may be. Know that we wish the best for you all. Monti
Oh my dear Monti,
My heart goes out to you. There is something about a Mother's Love that just totally amazes me. How does one describe it? There are no boundaries, no conditions, it just is, pure and perfect as the newborn that came from our womb. I bless my son for allowing me to know that perfect love. And I bless my son now, for giving me the opportunity to live that love fully.
I had a Near Death Experience myself back in 1994 and I was so pissed off that I came back because it was such a beautiful feeling to be in. But alas, I did return and what I learned from that experience was, "The only thing I can take with me is what I have given." It took me sometime to learn that all I really had to give was the gift of my trueself and apparently, I hadn't accommplished that at that time. Now, I am feeling that I am getting closer to that, day by day, experience by experience.
And in this experience, though it seems so tragic, I am finding the beauty in it. As I think about it, everything that I have ever created, whether it be in painting, sewing, crocheting, ceramics, my music and singing, my writings and poetry and most of all my son, they were all created in love and inspiration. So, I know that we were all created in love from our Creator. So, we are all filled with love, it just sometimes get obscured from this life's experiences. So, we have to seek the light of our love - for some that means transition - for others it means walking through the darkness yet knowing the light is surrounding us and in us - we just have to take our blinders off. And again, it is all a choice. And all choices are acceptable - there really are no mistakes, just paths to get us to where we need to be. I have to look at it from a higher plane of vision; otherwise, nothing makes sense. Do you know what I mean?
I recognized when I was in high school that the hardest lesson in life to learn is acceptance. Acceptance of another's choices and not to judge them for their choices but to recognize that everyone has their own path to follow, whether that is in accordance with my own wishes or not. Of course, we all want to be happy. And sometimes we have to look for that happiness in the puzzle of life. And I have found happiness in acceptance.
So many times we want to blame ourselves for another's actions. But alas, we cannot, for we really have no control of another's actions. All we have control of is our actions and reactions. And if we are confident in our choices, then all else follows suit. I have learned that it is not what happens to me but how I react to it that determines my happiness.
So, yes, I am now happy that I can return to my son. And whether he chooses to stay on this lifeplane or go on to another, I will be happy for him in his choices. For I believe that his higher self will determine what is best for his highest good. And that is all I can intend, is his highest good and mine.
My highest good is to accept what is and to be the best that I can be for me. I told my son a while back, that we are on a solo journey but we are never alone. Quite a paradox, huh? But I think that is what this life is - a paradox and quite a beautiful one to experience.
Thank you Monti, for allowing me to write this to you. This experience is helping me to so confirm for me what is true for me and that which brings peace to my soul. I suppose that is my purpose in this time is to find peace in every circumstance, in every experience no matter what it may be.
Everyday is a new day filled with possibilities. And it is our choices that determine how we wish to experience each day.
I intend for your highest good, Monti, whatever that may be. Thank for for your love, your prayers and intentions for me and my son.
With a loving heart I share this, Deb