Hi Froggie,

This is an intriguing question you have posed. I think that your own theory is a good one.

Last weekend someone asked me my opinion on whether or not Sai Baba has an ego. Ha! Like I would know. But, I told her that I think he exhibits one by having such an interest in others having spiritual growth and self-realization. I know that this is a linear, human perception of things and that in fact I don't know anything about Sai Baba's ego.

The thing is that I felt guilty about having made that judgment. Later that evening while driving home from the grocery store I was smoking a cigarette when the thought of the Sai Baba question popped into my mind. At that exact moment I dropped the lit cigarette in my lap and when I tried to grab it I knocked it to the floor. Fortunately, there was no one behine me and I was able to pull into the next drive and find the lit cigarette before it did any damage. The next thought was "thank you" to the powers that be for not having an accident or burning up my clothes, car seat, or carpeting. And then the following thought was about whether or not Sai Baba was teaching me a lesson about questioning him or doubting him, or if out of guilt about the whole matter I was punishing myself. Oh gosh, this spiritual stuff is not fun at times.

So, Froggie, could it be that you are now punishing yourself for your thoughts about Eric Pearl not having the level of compassion you thought he should have? If that is a possiblility in your mind, then asking forgiveness might clear up the problem.

I think that we must also remember that we are not the one who is actually doing the healing. It is only an energy from the Higher Source that does its work through us. If the person we are attempting to give help to is not healed it is not because we didn't do our part. Either that person does not have enough faith in the healing or they may have some karmic reason for the pain or the illness that we are not supposed to interfere with.

Maybe just asking the Higher Source to help you forgive yourself for your thought about Dr. Pearl and putting up some protective energy so that you feel you are not able to take on any of the negative energy will help?

There were just some thoughts I had on this subject.

__________________
Just Joyfully Participating

~You cannot be happy unless you are serving the truth of your being, however that service looks.~
- Gangaji

There is no hold on our energy if our love is not contingent upon the other person being lovable.