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Old 09-22-2002, 05:21 PM
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Waves of Blue---Ojo Healing

Ha. This topic has arisen a lot at Ojo and since. You and I discussed it, Jordie and I and now Cierra helps me to clarify my own feelings a little.

Your reply to her is so intelligent that, as I felt in Ojo, I can have no argument with it. But let's throw in some more curves.

You say you were very young when you realised your orientation and have never explored sexuality with men. I can also say that when I was very young I got quite excited at the thought of sexual encounters with female teachers - this I believe, like a lot of sexual activity - is to do with wanting their power, energy indeed, and something to do with mother...why is it so many women together do this baby talk thing, I mean I love it - adorable - but men seem to loathe it. I can't honestly recall any attraction to men when I was young, fantasy wise, until I was 17 and 'wanted the power' of a drama teacher I met. He had to be the first. I was besotted. Eventually he became my first lover and over the years there followed some great sex, as well as some not so great, with assorted men. Often the attraction was to powerful older men, hence my power sucking theory and in those cases something to do with daddy. At the same time attraction to women came in equal amounts but was less often acted upon due it seeming socially inappropriate, which is an argument in favour of gay pride marches I suppose. I didn't like the label bi-sexual, but it seemed slightly better than either of the other extremes. At the end of the day sexuality is just a component of our being. We are sexual beings. And most of us have quite a bit of sexual karma to work through I guess. But are we really inclined one way or the other except for conditioning?. Watch small children. No known preferences when it comes to the awakening of that kundalini.

Yet the liklihood of my ever having a relationship with a man again is so completely remote not just because I'm in a relationship that is nigh perfect, but because of the absence of balance, the goddess energy, in the great majority of straight men. No respect. No nookie. Not because I'm genetically homosexual but because it's a rare man that appreciates, thus deserves, the gifts of the goddess. We all know it and we're all as angry as hell about it. I can see why it would be empowering to say "they'll never have me, not in their wildest dreams". They don't deserve us, they had their chance and blew it! Oh dear, what has happened. We gotta find forgiveness else parthenogenesis is the only hope for the future!.

Relationship with women is most definitely easier, but I sometimes wonder if it's a cop out. Given that same sex sexuality can contain a balance of forces in both partners, the polarity thing with male/female is a powerful force all it's own, not to be ignored and not to be entered into lightly. Ah Sexuality. One of the great mysteries of life on this plane. We're probably all heading towards total celibacy, then we can leave this planet!

Enough rambling from me.

I don't know why I'm doing SO MUCH posting when Mercury is retrograde. I should probably shut up.

Kiss, kiss
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