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-   -   Silly jokes that make you smile (http://www.shirleymaclaine.com/encounter/showthread.php?t=214256)

PAULA CAMPOS 04-02-2013 07:15 PM

Silly jokes that make you smile
 
Baby polar bear asks its mummy, "Am I a real polar bear?"

Mummy polar bear says "Yes darling. Why?"


"Because I am flaming freezing".

PAULA CAMPOS 04-04-2013 05:08 PM

Corned beef sandwich walks into a Pub and asks for a pint.
Barman says sorry we dont serve food :D

PAULA CAMPOS 04-04-2013 05:19 PM

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot.

A carrot.

PAULA CAMPOS 04-04-2013 05:38 PM

I'm getting my stepladder out later.









I don't get on with my real ladder.

PAULA CAMPOS 04-04-2013 05:50 PM

two fish in a tank, one says to the other 'how do you drive this thing?'

PAULA CAMPOS 04-04-2013 06:53 PM

Mistranslations always the best -

+ Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk

+ Tokyo hotel:
It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not read this notice

+ Bucharest hotel:
The list is being fixed for the next day. During this time you will be unbearable

+ Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up

+ Belgrade elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving then going alphabetically in national order.

+ Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

+ Athens hotel:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11am daily

+ Sarajevo hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid

+ Japanese hotel
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid

+ Moscow hotel:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday

+ Swiss menu:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for

+ Hong Kong tailors shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs

+ Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results

+ Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking

+ Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation

+ Hong Kong advert:
Teeth extracted by the latest methodists

+ Rome laundary:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time

+ Swiss mountain inn:
Special today... no ice cream

+ Copenhagen airline:
We take your bags and send them in all directions

+ Moscow hotel:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it

+ Norwegian lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar

+ Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common but they are better for the long run

+ Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here

Cher O 05-23-2013 06:09 PM

Hi, Paula.
 
Just want to let you know I enjoyed these jokes. I have read them twice now. Thanks for posting and please post more if you run across them. I love laughing. Love, C.

debabbott 05-24-2013 07:20 AM

Thanks for the chuckle!!!!!

Love, Deb

bubbles 05-24-2013 06:26 PM

Mental illness affects 25% of the population;
one out of every four people you meet therefor
are nuts.

Chi 06-02-2013 10:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bubbles
Mental illness affects 25% of the population;
one out of every four people you meet therefor
are nuts.
Oh?
i thought we ALL were. Ha!
Love,
Chi


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