Most of us have been taught of the need to surrender or let go of past events that we decide no longer have relevance in our lives. Recently I have begun to look upon the whole process differently. I have stopped fighting against that which I do not want and have stopped trying to remove or surrender painful beliefs attached to what I had considered to be negative behavior inherent to my nature; things like anger, resentment, jealousy or the big one, fear. I began to realize that all of them can be seen in a positive light and in the doing the destructive consequences of such feelings are understood, neutralized and transformed. For instance if I discover or feel hidden or active shame (another big one) I acknowledge its presence; feel its quality and say thank you for the experience with appreciation and gratitude. Not easy to do in the beginning but with imagination and focus it is possible. The change of focus automatically begins the removal process because it alters the quality of the feelings reducing or eliminating the pain attached to it so as to make it easier to experience, trace and resolve the cause that is inducing and sustaining an unwanted experience or reality.
I had errantly been spending time trying to surrender the discomfort emitted by negative feelings, ideas or beliefs without success because I had not yet realized they could or would not disappear until I had also removed the cause. It also took me time to understand that I needed to discover that when I tried to eliminate a perceived negative without understanding the cause I further reinforced or propagated the production of secondary negative feelings, ideas and judgments of self dislike, fear and shame and any number of self destructive judgments or experiences that further layered, and intensified the pain I was trying to transcend.
Changing my approach has enabled me to more easily learn to understand levels of reality that serve a previously misunderstood need that had been wrongfully judged as non productive experience. Changing my approach is eliminating internal conflict as it is increasing and expanding self awareness, self acceptance and appreciation. Negatives are systematically transformed without wasted energy because I am not fighting against myself. No longer am I forcibly trying to remove or surrender assets that could guide me into greater awareness and understanding. When need has been satisfied, cause disappears taking the unnecessary with it. Instead of perceiving my thoughts as positive and negatives I have begun to comprehend and consciously work to shift my awareness so as to experience all aspects as guideposts that help facilitate awareness. Rather than fighting to make myself better Iím accepting self as I am and am appreciating more and more the needs my experiences are endeavoring to satisfy. Instead of wasting energy fighting against my perceived darkness I am studying it and in the doing am learning how to accept and assimilate its beauty and purpose into my awareness with gratitude.
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