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-   -   Asking for Energies & Some Thoughts (http://www.shirleymaclaine.com/encounter/showthread.php?t=213828)

OneLight 09-03-2012 12:03 PM

Asking for Energies & Some Thoughts
 
Have recently learned that my brother-in-law, Jim, has been diagnosed with Mesothelioma. He is in his early 80s and it has just activated now. Heís been given one year to live. He was a plasterer by trade, plus he served in the war, and it is well known now that those in the construction trades and the military have been exposed to asbestos. So, I am asking you all to surround him with healing energies for his highest good.

As well, his wife (my sister, Erlene) has recently fallen while cleaning the kitchen floor and broke her right wrist (she is right handed). I learned today that the pin was taken out and it is heavily bandaged during the healing process. She will probably need some physical therapy later on. So please include her in your thoughts and prayers as well.

Thank you all, my friends. Your ever ready willingness to help those asking for energy is so very much appreciated.

* * *

And if you will indulge me, I just need to share some thoughts that have been circling around in my mind. In talking with my niece today, Iíve learned that my sister (who is also in her early 80s) is getting down with thoughts about Jim and his condition, as well as having thoughts about not wanting to be a burden to her children. Perfectly understandable. My niece is doing her best to impress upon her that she is not. And of course my niece is going through her own emotional turmoil about all that is happening as well.

Being a burden to our family is a thought that all of us share, no matter our age or physical health. But I canít help but wonder where this mindset came from. Have we, as a society, become so enamored of our daily lives, that we think when we are in need that being lovingly cared for is looked upon by others as an imposition? And if we do think of it as an imposition, perhaps we should do some reflection on that.

My sister and brother-in-law have raised loving and caring children, providing all that they can for them to meet lifeís challenges. Now they are experiencing a time in their lives when they need some help and support. Having been in this situation myself with my own mother who also felt she was being a burden, I considered it an honor to care for her, and asked her to allow me the privilege to do soÖto share the love she so carefully nurtured in me all my life and give back to her during a difficult time in hers. A burden? No. Challenging? Yes. But schedules can be rearranged, and professional help can be obtained to assist and support, etc.

Now, more than ever, so many of us have come to realize that without sharing the love that we are, the love in our hearts, with those around us, that life can feel and be pretty empty. I know Iím rambling a bit here, but I sure would like to see this mindset of being thought of as a burden be erased from the consciousness. I can think of no greater gift a parent can give their child, or vice versa, than to allow the opportunity to put love and caring and concern into action on a personal basis.

Thanks for listening. I appreciate it. I just needed to verbalize these thoughts right now, even if perhaps they may be a bit skewed. I can only share from my own experience, yet realize that others may have different ones. You all are the best listeners, and you know, sometimes one just needs to be able to get it out, especially when one trusts and is comfortable with who is listening.

Thank you...
Love...Peg

Brit 09-03-2012 12:40 PM

Peg
I'll be sending loving energy and prayers to you and your family.

I so appreciate what you wrote about being a burden. I deal with that with my mother and Lee's all the time. They don't want to 'burden us'. We don't look at it that way. That's what family, friends and loved ones do.

But... I'll be the pot calling the kettle black here - from personal experience - it takes a lot for me to even ask for energy and prayers from our wonderful, amazing community. I know everyone is busy and in the grand scheme of life my issues are small compared to someone like your brother-in-law or sister, or Deb, or Sandy, or anyone else.

I think it is more that people don't want to bother others and add to their already busy and often stressful lives. It's easier to internalize it and struggle through than to ask for help without guilt.

Your thoughts are some that we should all pay close attention to, because in the long haul we have to be there for each other, with love and compassion and understanding.

Take care my friend and thank you.
Love
BE

sisterlura 09-03-2012 12:50 PM

Oh, Peg, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law's diagnosis and your sister's fall ~~ of course I will keep Jim and Erlene ~ and you ~ in my prayers and energy work.

You raised a very important question ~ I don't know the answer, but I share your concern. I'm wondering if some of it isn't a cultural thing. We Americans tend to be so youth-obsessed, for one thing, and the elderly are not revered as greatly for their wisdom, etc as in, say, Native American cultures. Nor is the concept of "family" as strong here, as it is, say, in Italian cultures. I've spent a great many hours visiting residents of nursing homes over the years, and it's heart breaking to see how many old folks are just dumped there and basically abandoned, even some whose families live right in the same town!

I took a leave from my job in New Hampshire, and left my husband and son for a few months to take care of my dying mom (lung cancer) in Maine and I wouldn't do a thing differently if I had to make that decision again today. Sure, it was inconvenient and a challenge and exhausting and wretchedly sad, etc etc, but it was also a tremendous honor - and somewhat healing for both of us - to be with her for that stage of her journey.

HOWEVER, that said, I also pray that I am never a burden to my Sisters here at the convent, or to my family when my time comes. So ..... back to Square One; I don't know what the answer is.

Perhaps a place to start is to initiate dialogue with our own families NOW, while everyone's feeling pretty good. Sort of like the Living Will idea -- get the requests or expectations or dilemmas or whatever "out there" in advance, before illness or crisis distorts rational thinking.

Meanwhile, hugs to you (((Peg))) - you're definitely not alone here!!!

Love 'n prayers,
Lura

OneLight 09-03-2012 02:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brit
Peg
I'll be sending loving energy and prayers to you and your family.

I so appreciate what you wrote about being a burden. I deal with that with my mother and Lee's all the time. They don't want to 'burden us'. We don't look at it that way. That's what family, friends and loved ones do.

But... I'll be the pot calling the kettle black here - from personal experience - it takes a lot for me to even ask for energy and prayers from our wonderful, amazing community. I know everyone is busy and in the grand scheme of life my issues are small compared to someone like your brother-in-law or sister, or Deb, or Sandy, or anyone else.

I think it is more that people don't want to bother others and add to their already busy and often stressful lives. It's easier to internalize it and struggle through than to ask for help without guilt.

Your thoughts are some that we should all pay close attention to, because in the long haul we have to be there for each other, with love and compassion and understanding.

Take care my friend and thank you.
Love
BE


Thanks Brit for your prayers and energy, along with your loving and wise response. You have helped me to stretch my thoughts about this by putting myself in the place of the "asker". You echo my consertnation in that I, too, struggle in asking for help because guilt does come into the picture for the reason you mention in not wanting to add to already stressful lives. This is an issue that I also have to work on and balance within myself. And I thank you for helping me with it along the way.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow and continuing to surround you with loving healing energies.

Blessings to you...
Love...Peg

OneLight 09-03-2012 02:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sisterlura
Oh, Peg, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law's diagnosis and your sister's fall ~~ of course I will keep Jim and Erlene ~ and you ~ in my prayers and energy work.

You raised a very important question ~ I don't know the answer, but I share your concern. I'm wondering if some of it isn't a cultural thing. We Americans tend to be so youth-obsessed, for one thing, and the elderly are not revered as greatly for their wisdom, etc as in, say, Native American cultures. Nor is the concept of "family" as strong here, as it is, say, in Italian cultures. I've spent a great many hours visiting residents of nursing homes over the years, and it's heart breaking to see how many old folks are just dumped there and basically abandoned, even some whose families live right in the same town!

I took a leave from my job in New Hampshire, and left my husband and son for a few months to take care of my dying mom (lung cancer) in Maine and I wouldn't do a thing differently if I had to make that decision again today. Sure, it was inconvenient and a challenge and exhausting and wretchedly sad, etc etc, but it was also a tremendous honor - and somewhat healing for both of us - to be with her for that stage of her journey.

HOWEVER, that said, I also pray that I am never a burden to my Sisters here at the convent, or to my family when my time comes. So ..... back to Square One; I don't know what the answer is.

Perhaps a place to start is to initiate dialogue with our own families NOW, while everyone's feeling pretty good. Sort of like the Living Will idea -- get the requests or expectations or dilemmas or whatever "out there" in advance, before illness or crisis distorts rational thinking.

Meanwhile, hugs to you (((Peg))) - you're definitely not alone here!!!

Love 'n prayers,
Lura


Thank you, Lura, for your prayers and energy work, as well as your wise counsel. Along with you, I myself have the same thought of not wanting to be a burden. And it is such a dilemma, I too do not know the answer, but I think your suggestion is a very good. We need to start these diaglogues with our families so that if/when the time comes, we can all move through it with ease, and peace, and grace.

Love to you...Peg

patswife 09-03-2012 05:46 PM

Peg,
So sorry to hear of the troubles your family members are having right now. I know that you will help to give them strength, being the person you are.
I have to agree with Brit that the "burden" issue seems to stem from the individual not wanting to be an inconvienece to those around them. I know that if something debilitating were to happen to me, I would NOT want to feel as if I were imposing on my family to take care of me. There are people who are trained to do this who are much better qualified. That being said, it seems that we are becoming a "me" society and we no longer feel obligated to help those in our families. Remember when we were kids and most everyone we knew had a grandparent living with them (myself included)? You don't see that much anymore. I think most of the young people now would not even consider having an ailing parent live with them--this is based on just the few younger people I know. My daughter is the exception, I'm happy to say. She tells me all the time that if something were to happen to Dad, I have to come live with her. I tell her--"not anytime soon. I'm way too young for that!!"
Much love, Peg,
Joanne

Wolfdog 09-03-2012 06:01 PM

For Peg
 
Sweet dear Peg...saddened to hear about your brother-in -law, Jim's demise and about your sister, Erlene having to deal with a serious wrist problem at the same time. Will be sending loving healing light and energy for them and you for strength through it all on top of everything else. You are in my prayers.


Peace, Love, and Hugs to you,

Wolfdog

OneLight 09-03-2012 06:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by patswife
Peg,
So sorry to hear of the troubles your family members are having right now. I know that you will help to give them strength, being the person you are.
I have to agree with Brit that the "burden" issue seems to stem from the individual not wanting to be an inconvienece to those around them. I know that if something debilitating were to happen to me, I would NOT want to feel as if I were imposing on my family to take care of me. There are people who are trained to do this who are much better qualified. That being said, it seems that we are becoming a "me" society and we no longer feel obligated to help those in our families. Remember when we were kids and most everyone we knew had a grandparent living with them (myself included)? You don't see that much anymore. I think most of the young people now would not even consider having an ailing parent live with them--this is based on just the few younger people I know. My daughter is the exception, I'm happy to say. She tells me all the time that if something were to happen to Dad, I have to come live with her. I tell her--"not anytime soon. I'm way too young for that!!"
Much love, Peg,
Joanne


Hi Joanne
Yes, I know, I have those same feelings too. And yes I too had a grandmother living with us when I was a kid. Thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate your sharing them.

Love...Peg

Lasep 09-03-2012 06:56 PM

(((Peg)))

Sending love and light.

OneLight 09-03-2012 06:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfdog
Sweet dear Peg...saddened to hear about your brother-in -law, Jim's demise and about your sister, Erlene having to deal with a serious wrist problem at the same time. Will be sending loving healing light and energy for them and you for strength through it all on top of everything else. You are in my prayers.


Peace, Love, and Hugs to you,

Wolfdog


Thank you, Wolfdog, it is more appreciated than I can say.

Love to you...Peg


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