Encounter Board

Encounter Board (http://www.shirleymaclaine.com/encounter/index.php)
-   Wellness and Healing Circle (http://www.shirleymaclaine.com/encounter/forumdisplay.php?f=274)
-   -   Deb Abbott Needs Your Prayers (http://www.shirleymaclaine.com/encounter/showthread.php?t=212895)

debabbott 09-06-2011 03:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brit
Dearest Deb
Keeping you and Sean in my prayers and energy work.

This morning as I read the posts here a white feather came gently floating into my room thru a partially open window... It was a reminder that we have the support of the seen and unseen realities when we need it most. I think you both have angels helping now... Maybe a special one that delivered a calling card earlier today.

Keeping you in light, energy, and blanketed in love
BE


Oh Brit, you are going to love this, I certainly did. After I read this, I felt the pull to go out my back door for a breath of fresh air. And there on the grass, was not one, but two little white feathers. I smiled and knew that your Dad is, indeed, with us - yes. I put them in the note that Sean had written that I am keeping with me in my purse.

I'm taking the bus back to Ft. Worth later this week. Sean's Uncle Don is getting Sean's car ready for me to use while there and I will be staying with my lifelong friends there. So, all is working in accord for me to return to be with my son. And I am so grateful for everything and for everyone who has come to our aide. In the worst tragedies there are many bright moments and love seems to shine "It's" brightest. I so feel all the love surrounding us.

Thank you all for your tender loving care. I'm taking my laptop with me so I can keep in touch this time. Don't know what day I will be leaving - as soon as all is coordinated. I'll let you know.

Love, Deb

debabbott 09-06-2011 04:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by monti1980
Deb I am new here only since May2011. My thoughts and prayers are for you and your son Sean. I lost my 30 yr old son in April he had many problems and I am just finding out about them. It has been the hardest thing in my life so far that I have had to deal with, so my grief is still fresh and why you are on my mind so much. You sound like a very strong and spiritual person and I hope I will learn alot from you and the website. Until then know that my prayers are with you all. May you have the strength to be there for Sean in any way that may be. Know that we wish the best for you all. Monti


Oh my dear Monti,
My heart goes out to you. There is something about a Mother's Love that just totally amazes me. How does one describe it? There are no boundaries, no conditions, it just is, pure and perfect as the newborn that came from our womb. I bless my son for allowing me to know that perfect love. And I bless my son now, for giving me the opportunity to live that love fully.

I had a Near Death Experience myself back in 1994 and I was so pissed off that I came back because it was such a beautiful feeling to be in. But alas, I did return and what I learned from that experience was, "The only thing I can take with me is what I have given." It took me sometime to learn that all I really had to give was the gift of my trueself and apparently, I hadn't accommplished that at that time. Now, I am feeling that I am getting closer to that, day by day, experience by experience.

And in this experience, though it seems so tragic, I am finding the beauty in it. As I think about it, everything that I have ever created, whether it be in painting, sewing, crocheting, ceramics, my music and singing, my writings and poetry and most of all my son, they were all created in love and inspiration. So, I know that we were all created in love from our Creator. So, we are all filled with love, it just sometimes get obscured from this life's experiences. So, we have to seek the light of our love - for some that means transition - for others it means walking through the darkness yet knowing the light is surrounding us and in us - we just have to take our blinders off. And again, it is all a choice. And all choices are acceptable - there really are no mistakes, just paths to get us to where we need to be. I have to look at it from a higher plane of vision; otherwise, nothing makes sense. Do you know what I mean?

I recognized when I was in high school that the hardest lesson in life to learn is acceptance. Acceptance of another's choices and not to judge them for their choices but to recognize that everyone has their own path to follow, whether that is in accordance with my own wishes or not. Of course, we all want to be happy. And sometimes we have to look for that happiness in the puzzle of life. And I have found happiness in acceptance.

So many times we want to blame ourselves for another's actions. But alas, we cannot, for we really have no control of another's actions. All we have control of is our actions and reactions. And if we are confident in our choices, then all else follows suit. I have learned that it is not what happens to me but how I react to it that determines my happiness.

So, yes, I am now happy that I can return to my son. And whether he chooses to stay on this lifeplane or go on to another, I will be happy for him in his choices. For I believe that his higher self will determine what is best for his highest good. And that is all I can intend, is his highest good and mine.

My highest good is to accept what is and to be the best that I can be for me. I told my son a while back, that we are on a solo journey but we are never alone. Quite a paradox, huh? But I think that is what this life is - a paradox and quite a beautiful one to experience.

Thank you Monti, for allowing me to write this to you. This experience is helping me to so confirm for me what is true for me and that which brings peace to my soul. I suppose that is my purpose in this time is to find peace in every circumstance, in every experience no matter what it may be.

Everyday is a new day filled with possibilities. And it is our choices that determine how we wish to experience each day.

I intend for your highest good, Monti, whatever that may be. Thank for for your love, your prayers and intentions for me and my son.

With a loving heart I share this, Deb

Chi 09-06-2011 04:39 PM

a candle burns for Sean...
and i lit one for you too. Soft Grin...

Love,
Chi

debabbott 09-06-2011 04:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by caged
I am so sorry to hear of your son. I have been sending energy to him and will continue to do so. Sending energy also to you and peg. keep in mind that he may get better then what the Dr. s say he will. My Dr said that I was going to die too. but my angels got me through that and I got more back then they thought I would. He has help from his highher powers and may recover more use of his extrematies then expected. Sending a hug to you and to your son and peg.:(


Thanks, Caged for your uplifting remarks.

Love, Deb

debabbott 09-06-2011 04:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chi
a candle burns for Sean...
and i lit one for you too. Soft Grin...

Love,
Chi


Thanks, my friend.

Love you, Deb

debabbott 09-06-2011 04:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by OneLight
Dear Sean-y,

Although you are not in a position to read this right now, I am trusting that the loving and compassionate energies of this letter will reach you in spirit. May it bring you peace and comfort to your entire Being.

I wish to Thank You for being You. Although I do not understand all the struggles and challenges you have experienced in your life, I do know that they played out the way they did to garner lessons and growth in spiritual evolvement.

I just finished re-reading all the posts in this thread and am amazed at how just one life can touch so many others – how can we possibly deny a connection between us all? Not just your mom, but your aunts and uncles, your grandmother, your friends, the medical team, and all those here on the Boards who are surrounding you with loving energies for your highest good.

Your present situation has impulsed many of us to go deep within ourselves and get in touch with what we truly believe. And it has further urged some of us to share our thoughts, and in that sharing we are all learning from you and from each other, which is beneficial in some way to us all. It doesn’t matter whether we agree or not with each other in choices made or beliefs held in the depths of our souls. What matters is the value we each receive through the sharing in further defining our individual truth.

So Sean-y, although you may not realize it consciously, you are a wonderful Teacher for many of us. Because what you chose to do, on a much deeper level, shows a Love that can touch others at their soul level by contemplating how your actions, and all the ramifications for you and others, can raise our own awareness and release what no longer serves us. We are all in this game of Life together, and everything that we each choose to do affects those around us in some way. I am learning that I am responsible for my actions and reactions. I am learning to be at peace with choices I am making through all of this, because as difficult as some of those choices are, I am becoming a better me, and I trust that that, in some way, will be of benefit to those I love and care about.

So Thank You, Sean-y, from my heart to yours, for helping us all in some way to discern a greater awareness of Life and Love, and all it entails, at all of its levels. Blessing you and surrounding you with Love and Light…

With Love….Sweet Pea

Peg


Thanks my sweet most dearest friend,
It is amazing isn't it? How circumstances and experiences bring us to our inner core of being and allows us to come to grips what we really know to be true for ourselves.

I am most grateful for all the love and care that has been extended here. I know that we will all come to some greater understanding throughout all of this. You have been so supportive in so many ways, as you have always been. Your light always shines so bright.

I am so grateful to have you as my dearest friend.

With greatest of love and thankfulness, Deb

debabbott 09-06-2011 05:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sisterlura
Dear Deb,

Although we have never met, I can't begin to tell you what a powerful impact this journey that you and Sean are currently on is having on me. Thank you so much for sharing so openly with us here. I am in awe of your strenth, courage, inner wisdom and surrender to what is.

You & Sean are on my mind 24/7 and I keep putting myself in your shoes and wondering: could I EVER be so brave if my son Scott was in the bed instead of Sean? I think not; I pray yes. You are teaching me so much about how to graciously let go of so much .... to accept ... and to use every experience as a learning lesson. THANK YOU FOR THIS.

I pray mightily for your continued strength and guidance in the days ahead, Deb. May peace be - and - stay with you, and may light and love wrap you in snugness.

Love,
Lura



Thank you my dear sisterlura,
This time has brought me to a strength that I didn't even know I could possess at a time like this. It is amazing what one can find in what appears to be such a tragedy. But I certainly have. The pouring out of love from so very many from so many different venaculars.

I am so grateful that you all are walking this path with me in your own ways. That is so very beautiful to me. Yes, we walk a solo path in the way we respond to any circumstance or experience. But, the overwhelming love that is surrounding us now is so very beautiful and lends me the strength to go forward.

Your loving tender caring is so beautiful and I am so grateful for all the support that I have. All will be well, no matter the outcome. I know this to be true for me.

Love you, dear one, and thank you for your posts, your prayers and your love. Deb

debabbott 09-06-2011 07:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cher O
I am so sorry you and Sean (and Peg) are going thru this.

You are an amazing spirit as I know Sean is. So as you ask, I am praying for the highest good of Sean, whatever that may be.... and of course the highest good for yourself and Peg.

I just cannot imagine how difficult this must be for all of you, tho I identify enough to sit here with tears in my eyes, so if this is full of typos, please understand.

I don't know if I could be as brave and open as you are being, Deb, if this were my son.... I tend to clutch at those around me even tho I believe the same things you do. For some reason, physical presence means everything to me.

Perhaps I can learn detachment from you and your strong belief in another existence.... I had that conviction once and lost it. Perhaps thru your and Sean's dynamic, I can get it back again. There is a lesson for all of us in this.

I have lost three relatives in the last two weeks. And my mother is 89 and my in-laws are in their 90's so more loss in the next few years is inevitable. I hope I can learn equanimity from you and your circumstances.

I am sorry I spent so much time talking about myself. But your situation was such a shock to my system I probably am not making sense at all.

Just let me close this by telling you I love you and am sending my intention for the highest good. I am sure the Universe knows what that is.

Love, C.


Dear C,

Thank you so very much for your loving tender care, your prayers and loving intentions.

Not quite sure of what your perception of detachment is but let me share with you what I am feeling. I have to say that I am so totally entrenched with the attachment to this situation with my son that I am seeping in it and that is what holds my whole of attention right now. I do not feel detached in any way but more so enthralled in all that is going on.

I suppose there is a difference between detachment and acceptance. Yes, I accept this situaion but I am so not detached from it. I am in it fully and experiencing it. My heart bleeds when my son bleeds. I struggle with communication between us as does he. My heart is heavy to see him go through all of this pain and these surgeries. I want so much to just hold him in my arms and rock him like I used to do when he was but a baby. I want to sing to him like I used to do. I want him to know that he is so very loved. There is no detachment in that.

I understand how some people may think that I am detached because I am not screaming at the top of my lungs. But in my heart, I am. I want to make everything better for him. Isn't that what mothers do? But I can't and that is what I have to accept. I can only be there for him as he goes through all of this trauma. Oh yes, I am feeling all of that from my head to my toes. But I have to accept that to be there for him. I have to maintain, to be there for him or else I couldn't stand it.

So, I'm loving you my friend, and hoping that you understand where I am coming from - a deep well of love in total attachment for that which I love, but attempting to proceed for the betterment of all. Am I hurting, oh yes.

Love, Deb

Cher O 09-06-2011 08:14 PM

Oh Deb,
 
I see now what a poor choice of words that was. Of course you are hurting. That is not what I meant. What I meant is that you can still somehow stand above everything (like your hawks) and see that from a higher perspective Sean's circumstances are a gathering force for love and concern in others. And his choices are his own. Peg said it best in her recent post. She has such a gift for words. I know all you really want is to gather him in your arms and just hold him. Comfort him. It's what I would do for you if you were in arm's reach.

So please forgive me, my friend. I know how deep is your pain. Love, C.

debabbott 09-06-2011 09:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cher O
I see now what a poor choice of words that was. Of course you are hurting. That is not what I meant. What I meant is that you can still somehow stand above everything (like your hawks) and see that from a higher perspective Sean's circumstances are a gathering force for love and concern in others. And his choices are his own. Peg said it best in her recent post. She has such a gift for words. I know all you really want is to gather him in your arms and just hold him. Comfort him. It's what I would do for you if you were in arm's reach.

So please forgive me, my friend. I know how deep is your pain. Love, C.

I know C, because you know me so well. I just wanted to address the difference between detachment and just dealing with it. Though we be in pain, we can still deal with it.

And that is simply what I am doing, just dealing with itl.

Love you, Deb

debabbott 09-06-2011 09:24 PM

Going to bed now to get some real good sleep. Love you all, Deb

bkswanson 09-06-2011 10:08 PM

For Deb & Sean
 
Keeping you in my prayers and in my heart.

Love you
bks

monti1980 09-07-2011 10:41 AM

Your words have helped me Deb
 
Dear Deb,
Your words have really gave me something to think about. I have read and reread your letter and have truely thought about what you said about in trusting in what we do. I have been blaming myself for what I did wrong in his situation and what I could have done different to save him. But maybe this was his path to take, I don't know... It is like you said we are mothers and we will always love and want to hold on to them, but it is a solo journey that we all must take. I hope I can learn that what we want for them is not always what their soul's journey is to be and learn to accept what is to be. As painful as it is because all I want is to put my arms around him and tell him how much I miss him and how proud I am of him. I know that is very selfish of me, I want to believe he is really in a better place and is home and I will see him again and know why we go through what we do. I just wish I knew what lesson I am supposed to be learning. Maybe loss I have lost so many in my life, I don't know...
How loving and strong you are to be with your son and truely want what is his wants. I know as a mom you are in so much pain, for that is the worst pain in life, to see our children hurting and not being able to help them. There is your paradox again. Thank you again for taking the time in your life to talk to me, there again is the paradox I am reaching out to you trying to comfort you and instead you did it for me. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you, Peg, or Sean and if it is at all possible I will. Thank you again and know that you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers, monti

sunni6ft 09-07-2011 02:49 PM

Deb and Peg and Sean
 
Your strength and insight amaze me and are beautiful, you inspire me and remind me of who I used to be before I lost my husband.

You have grace and courage and I am so grateful to you for taking me under your wing in chat. I am sending you prayers on wings of angels and butterflies.

with love new friend,
Sunni/Jane

sisterlura 09-07-2011 04:29 PM

Oh, my. I don't know how this is is quite happening, but I'm absolutely warmed to the core by what is occurring in this thread. Sooo many kindred spirits united in love and healing energy for Deb - Sean - Peg ... now I've added Monti and her still-raw grief .....

This just blows me away!

Please believe me, all, that I mean this in only the kindest, most sincere way when I say that THIS MOMENT is the most hope I've felt for humankind in a very, very long time. So much love and generosity of spirit is coming through you all .... THIS is what Sean's purpose is, perhaps?

Every day, first thing, I check this site to see if there's an updated report on how he and Deb are doing. Whtever is happening, it is intensely spirit-filled.

Love to all,
Lura

debabbott 09-07-2011 07:15 PM

To the all of you
 
To the all of you that have not only posted on this thread but that have viewed the intense love here, I thank you all. For your energies help me to go forward and that of my son as well, along with Peg.

There is an outpouring of love here and that is so beautiful to witness and to behold. I cherish each and everyone of your remarks that you have stated here and thank you for your loving energies that are assisting us along our way.

Peg has recovered some of Seans writings, while he was here with us, and using my laptop. She is updating anti-virus software and all that I need to proceed. Yes, I am totally grateful for her assistance, totally. So she will be posting a couple of poems that he shared with us while here as well as a couple of pictures so that you all may know better who he is.

I know, for me, that I am learning so very much from this experience. As I hold him in my heart, I am finding depths of my heart that I never knew existed. And with the all of you sharing this with me and sending your loving energies, I find myself exploding with all of your love and care. I just want you all to know how very much it means to me for you to be here with me. I have to say, I do need you all and so appreciate all of your attentiveness.

Now, for an update on Sean. For all of you who do not know his history, let me share. My Sean has been suffering from Chrone's Disease and has been in and out of the hospital many times in the last two years. Chrone's is an inflammatory disease of the intestines which can cause abcesses on his intestines and other vital organs. He had a portion of his intestines removed
two years ago and since then has suffered from multiple "flare ups" which rendered him in the hospital over and over again. Much pain has accompanied these flare ups. Thus he has been on pain medication for the last two years and he got addicted to the pain meds which he told me has been the greatest beast that he has ever confronted. The doctors say that it is not uncommon for Chrone's patients to get addicted to pain meds.

If one has not experienced Chrone's it is difficult for them to realize the excruiciating pain that accompanies it.

Anyway, from todays update from his doctors, he has had jaundice and fever the last few days. They did a cat scan and discovered a small lesion on his liver. They say this is from his Chrone's and not his injuries. So, they called in an Infectious Disease Doctor and she said she thought she could treat this with antibiotics and that they could continue with the surgeries to repair his major injuries as that is imperative that they do this at this time in order to avoid further complications.

So tomorrow, they will be proceeding with surgeries on his legs and right arm. The second doctor will take over after the legs are done to do surgery on his right arm. All in all it will be surgery for about 9 or 10 hours. I will be awaiting calls from the docs for results. They asked me again if I wished to wave the DNR (do not resusitate) order that Sean desires. I said, "No, I have to honor his wishes.

So, tomorrow is going to be another day of suspense. But I know that whatever happens will be his desires, not mine. And that is what I hold most precious to me, his desires, I must honor his wishes.

So, I thank you all for continuing to be here with me, us, and to all of your support. I am so very grateful that we are not going through this alone. Though it is a solo journey for us all, it is so wonderful to have a cheering section to bless us on our way.

My love and gratitude to you all.

Love, Deb

angelsong 09-07-2011 07:36 PM

I am just adoring how beautiful the showing of love and support that has been happening in this thread. It truly reminds me of a family gathering together. The real kind.


This board has been thru so many ups and downs over the years but one thing you can truly say is that "we got heart" ;) And we love each other.


I also noticed how in the face of just about the most horrific thing I think I have personally heard, Deb has shown her strength and vulnerability to all of us in loving sharing.


So much wisdom, Deb. I think the biggest lesson we all face is in our lives is unconditional love and acceptence....to let go and let be the course of love, knowing that it has "purpose" even if in the process it breaks our heart. That's not an easy one and it isn't something that can be spoken into belief or handed down from another person....it is something that requires our full awareness and lifelong experience of allowing ourselves to feel fully and address honestly where love is taking us and what it is showing us. In truth, nothing is ever, ever lost. Love remains with us like a mighty lifeline of truth always....the great teacher. God/Creator moving thru us. I understand very deeply the words that you are speaking from that place of Love....you trust it and it will give you all the strength you need just as it has always done. :) Love is never quiet and tends to leave its calling card around in as many places as you are capable of seeing ;)

I know that you and Sean have a huge mountain to climb but you are doing it together...Mother and son...and yes, there is something incredibly raw and beautiful about that. It's almost like you are starting over from the beginning. One day at a time. It's amazing how strong the human spirit is.

I love you, Deb and I am here for you in any way you need me. You and Sean have remained in my heart and in my thoughts constantly since this happened and will continue to be.

Prayers night and day with Golden Light and Love,

Angelsong

debabbott 09-07-2011 07:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by monti1980
Dear Deb,
Your words have really gave me something to think about. I have read and reread your letter and have truely thought about what you said about in trusting in what we do. I have been blaming myself for what I did wrong in his situation and what I could have done different to save him. But maybe this was his path to take, I don't know... It is like you said we are mothers and we will always love and want to hold on to them, but it is a solo journey that we all must take. I hope I can learn that what we want for them is not always what their soul's journey is to be and learn to accept what is to be. As painful as it is because all I want is to put my arms around him and tell him how much I miss him and how proud I am of him. I know that is very selfish of me, I want to believe he is really in a better place and is home and I will see him again and know why we go through what we do. I just wish I knew what lesson I am supposed to be learning. Maybe loss I have lost so many in my life, I don't know...
How loving and strong you are to be with your son and truely want what is his wants. I know as a mom you are in so much pain, for that is the worst pain in life, to see our children hurting and not being able to help them. There is your paradox again. Thank you again for taking the time in your life to talk to me, there again is the paradox I am reaching out to you trying to comfort you and instead you did it for me. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you, Peg, or Sean and if it is at all possible I will. Thank you again and know that you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers, monti


Monti,
As we traverse through the planes of experience, sometimes, we have no clue of the outcome, the reason, or why. We only know that we are in the the experiencing of it. It is often, not until later that we can define what all the experience offers us.

And so it is.

I don't know the outcome of this, my experience with my son. But I am determined to feel it fully and to take from it all that it offers. I love my son from the depths of my heart, as I am certain, you all know. All I know right now is that I have to "walk in beauty" no matter what the experience. And that is what I am determined to do. My son knows of my beliefs and though at times, he has questioned. Nevertheless, he knows that I know. And I know that know and that seems to be the only thing that matters at this time.

Much love to the all of you as we all walk through this experience together. I am so very grateful for the all of you.

Love, Deb

OneLight 09-07-2011 07:59 PM

Mother and Son...
 
1 Attachment(s)
Mother and Son… (Angelsong, we were both writing at the same time!)

I am in awe at the beauty of this thread, which is filled to overflowing with so many feelings (love, acceptance, allowance, peace, caring, to name a few). Your honest sharings of self-reflection help each of us to get in touch with our emotions and address questions we all ask ourselves at one time or another in our experiences. Sharing our thoughts with each other gently opens the gates of current awareness to contemplate other possibilities. I thank each and every one of you for sharing the gift of yourself in this way. It is more precious than gold.

I thought you all might like to get to know Sean a little better, so as Deb as mentioned in her post, we will be sharing some of his writings. But first, I’d like to share one of my favorite photos of the two of them taken in Dec of 2008…

Namaste….Peg

angelsong 09-07-2011 08:18 PM

Thank you Peg for sharing this. This offers an image to go with our prayers.

Handsome son and proud Momma Deb.

Much love,
Angelsong

angelsong 09-07-2011 08:28 PM

Deb wanted me to share this on the board as it might be of help to others:

> Subject: angel reading
>
> Hi Deb;
>
> You know that I have not done my automatic writing in quite some
> time....years. They came thru instantly...think they are always
> attached to me and I am so use to their energy that I had no problem
> letting it flow...just like old times. So, I do this for you and for
> Sean (keep in mind no punctuation):
>
> we are here to guide you soft embrace from the angels of light and
> love we give you an honest interpretation of these events Sean is
> learning his own strength and learning to depend on his own inner
> guidance this has been absent from his life experience until this time
> he has much in the coming months to walk thru and much disappointment
> do not be distressed by this as difficult as it might be to be witness
> just be there for him in his time of need in council and with love he
> will soon understand and see thru his own eyes what is at work and he
> will fight for his life and be an inspiration to others this we say and
> this we give you to comfort your heart at this time you will question
> it and that is okay it is all a process thru which all will learn from
> and they will take what is needed in their own lives be true to
> yourself my dearest child know that you are loved and guided always
> you are never alone and you will find this truth in these next few
> months more than you have ever felt before in your life when the heart
> is wide open it is the perfect communication and gathering place for all
> higher beings we are remaining with you and sending you higher light
> and protective energy we bid you farewell for now
>
>
> Much love,
> Annette

monti1980 09-07-2011 08:29 PM

beautiful
 
You are right Angel he is a handsome man. I can really feel the love and pride she has for her son through her eyes. It just radiates love and compassion. Thank you again for all the support. monti

debabbott 09-07-2011 08:30 PM

Ahhhh, my lovely son, isn't he just dreamy? Seeing him in the hospital, I asked the nurses to keep his lips moist. He has always been so attentive about his appearance. Such a small little thing compared to his extensive injuries. But, they are keeping his lips moist which was always so important to him. Just a small little thing that comforts me and him.

Love, Deb

monti1980 09-07-2011 08:38 PM

Angel
 
That was beautiful I had to look up what automatic writing was, I told you I am new and still learning. You put such wonderful thoughts together, I can feel the concern and care in the writing. Thank you for sharing you gifts with us all. Love and thoughts, monti

OneLight 09-07-2011 08:59 PM

I am ever in wonder at the depth of each human being - so much more than the physical eye can see - so much more than a surface observation of expression can discern. Sean is such a multi-talented young man - a gifted artist, a natural musician (guitar, keyboard, singing), a thoughtful writer and poet. Despite his emotional (and physical) challgenges and struggles, he has always been a deep thinker. Will be sharing with you here, some of his gifts...

SEARCHING TO WRITE
By Sean 2004

Color of a Day, it seems
The sunlight shining on my face
No time passing by
It is fall and I feel poetic

The trees sway and give a gentle whisper
Just like they did when I was young
I let the color of a day affect me deeply

I've brought sorrow to my self
And wonder why it's here
Enjoy the day they say
I try sometimes I think
But then again I don't

It's a fear that holds me back
Fear of failure maybe
Or I might just be lazy

Enjoy life, I say
But I'm to busy regreting
Color seems to rule me

When others laugh and play
I stare into nothing
Regretful for what I could have done

I come back to the day
Asking for order and focus
All I have to do is write
To see my vision put to use

Most of the time you feel like two people
You try to write something, anything
You've just begun and you start to drift
You begin to analyze your self without mercy

A hundred thoughts at once
And you lose the place you started from
What does it take to stay on the path

I've never been able to write a story
Not since I was very young
I've always defeated my self before I've ever started
I lack order, I sit inside myself
Frustrated that I can't take control

There has to come a point in time
When I take control - I let go
And work towards something that I've always wanted
I'm going to try

debabbott 09-07-2011 09:00 PM

And as one of my guides comes through me, let me share. This is from Boglivia.

As you are experiencing great turnoil now through this episode, let me remark that much is coming from this experience, not only for you and your lovely son, Sean, but all the people that are connected with your life plan.

Is this not all about the continuity of life? Yes, it is and the astounding references that you are embracing. In this life plane, on which you now exist and exhibit, there are many definitions of which you need to adhere.
One of those is that life is a continuance, nothing ever dies, it is always rejuvenated in the cycle that permeates your experience. Just like the foilage which has its cycle of living, dying and replenishing itself, so is the cylce of man. All is in accord with this cycle.

This is a time for all to witness. To see that there is so very much more to this life experience than ever before presented and accepted. It is now a time to come into ones own of understanding. And to proceed with further ventures in this wake of awakening. Just open your eyes and let it all be revealed to you. Take hold and live within its wonders and proceed.

It is a beautiful experience awaiting the all of you.

Love, Deb

OneLight 09-07-2011 09:10 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Another of Sean's writings...

Certain Questions
By Sean Jan 2011

What is the thought of a human being in a place of perceived certainty
What does it cost to realize beauty forsaking acceptance in a world of uncertainty
How will it certainly change thought of life and there after
Can it be certain that perceived change is real or realness is a matter of perception

Who was it that said that all things must certainly pass through darkness and return
When is it time to be certain on time and space thus be uncertain about God
What can they say to tell us we are to be told and who are these that want to say
Can it be certain that there is nothing to be certain about thus be certain about God

How do the lives of others certainly affect the lives of certain others
Why are there so many trials of the innocent certain to affect the fortunes of the guilty
What is the thought of a human being in a place of perceived uncertainty
Can it be certain that there are no perceptions that illuminate certainty

Who was it that said all things are in accordance with all others at times unknown
When does it become acceptable to think of life without uncertainty or wonder
How then can one be certain that they are really existing without being certain
Can it be certain that there is hope for light when all others seek the light of uncertainty

What will certainly be the mark of progress when none is needed and who will be certain
How is it that peace is always here and certainly here on the demand of the living
What does it cost to explain to a child that nothing is certain and uncertainty surrounds
Can it be certain that dreams made in sleep can certaintly kill them while awake

What can one say about certainty which can not be defined by explanation
When will there be a time of uncertainty and peace for all who can imagine it
How will it certainly change the lives of the beautiful and will it be for certain
Can it be certain that all questions have uncertainty and certainty always invokes question ...................?

angelsong 09-07-2011 09:29 PM

Monti
 
I had to look up what the internet had to say about automatic writing just for curiosity sake. I guess I do it differently...or did do it differently in the beginning. Prior to my father dying, a friend of my mother's was visiting and she was telling him stories of my paranormal experiences. He seemed like your ordinary person, yet apparently he wasn't :) My mother called me into the room and told me what they were discussing and he thought that I'd be natural at this thing called automatic writing. He sat me down at the table and got a paper and pen and told me to think of some place beautiful to visit and take my mind to. Then he told me to put the pen on the paper and it would move on its own. I felt this energy (like magnetic) moving it and the ball of the pen felt like it was melting wax. To be honest, it freaked me out too much and I was finished. Then over the course of a few weeks, this curiousity propelled me to play around with it more and more. At first I only got pulses....like an EKG read out but then one day it wrote out my name and my first guide introduced himself, Michael.

The only reason I am sharing this with you is that it occurred to me that this might be a useful tool for you to talk to your son if you wish. I used it to speak with my father a few months after I started the writing. It gave me great comfort and allowed me to ask all the questions I had along with finding peace with his transitioning.

There are other ways to do this as well. There's a book called, "Writing Down Your Soul" by Janet Connor. I took a workshop with her last year and the method is very much like what I just read on the internet:
http://www.psychicbutsane.com/devel...tomatic-writing

Even if you took this different route, I think you would get a lot of comfort from it and it would help you learn a lot about this whole expanded perception of Life. Beautiful wisdom just flows out.

In fact, just putting pen to paper all by itself is powerful....see what flows from your heart and higher self, Monti :)

Much love,
Angelsong

angelsong 09-07-2011 09:34 PM

Sean is truly a very deep thinker and searcher of the Truth. Wow! Chip off the old block, eh Deb? :)

I really enjoy reading his writing a lot...yes, very gifted.

xo

angelsong 09-07-2011 09:36 PM

Deb....Boglivia's words feel very ancient and true. Thank you for sharing :)


xo

OneLight 09-07-2011 09:38 PM

1 Attachment(s)
This is one of Sean's paintings done in 2001 while he was staying with Deb at her condo in Texas. At this point in time, he had never been to the mountains, but envisioned what they might be like...wish the photo would show the detail of the original, but you get the idea...

Peg

debabbott 09-07-2011 09:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by angelsong
I had to look up what the internet had to say about automatic writing just for curiosity sake. I guess I do it differently...or did do it differently in the beginning. Prior to my father dying, a friend of my mother's was visiting and she was telling him stories of my paranormal experiences. He seemed like your ordinary person, yet apparently he wasn't :) My mother called me into the room and told me what they were discussing and he thought that I'd be natural at this thing called automatic writing. He sat me down at the table and got a paper and pen and told me to think of some place beautiful to visit and take my mind to. Then he told me to put the pen on the paper and it would move on its own. I felt this energy (like magnetic) moving it and the ball of the pen felt like it was melting wax. To be honest, it freaked me out too much and I was finished. Then over the course of a few weeks, this curiousity propelled me to play around with it more and more. At first I only got pulses....like an EKG read out but then one day it wrote out my name and my first guide introduced himself, Michael.

The only reason I am sharing this with you is that it occurred to me that this might be a useful tool for you to talk to your son if you wish. I used it to speak with my father a few months after I started the writing. It gave me great comfort and allowed me to ask all the questions I had along with finding peace with his transitioning.

There are other ways to do this as well. There's a book called, "Writing Down Your Soul" by Janet Connor. I took a workshop with her last year and the method is very much like what I just read on the internet:
http://www.psychicbutsane.com/devel...tomatic-writing

Even if you took this different route, I think you would get a lot of comfort from it and it would help you learn a lot about this whole expanded perception of Life. Beautiful wisdom just flows out.

In fact, just putting pen to paper all by itself is powerful....see what flows from your heart and higher self, Monti :)

Much love,
Angelsong


Yes, as the first time that Boglivia came through me was by automatic writing in 2003 on the Norhern New Mexico Ranch as the wind whistled through the pages. It was a great time of awakening. And then she came through audibly.

I can now contact her in both respects. Boglivia is a higher self of me in another dimension.

Love, Deb

P.S. Is this just blowing you away? No prob, I understand, But it is so real coming from one who has had the experience, time and time again.

OneLight 09-07-2011 09:43 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Here's another of the paintings from 2001...

OneLight 09-07-2011 09:45 PM

1 Attachment(s)
In 2003, Sean came to visit with Deb and I in my condo in Denver. We took him up to Estes Park through the Colorado Rockies. This painting is from memory of one of the views he saw as we drove up there...

Peg

debabbott 09-07-2011 09:53 PM

This is all so beautiful. Thank you all for your participation in my life.

Love you all,

Deb

OneLight 09-07-2011 10:19 PM

Sean wrote this to Deb back in 2002 under Creativity on these Boards.
His user name was "crossroads71". You can do a search under that to read some of his other writings here....

GREEN ROSES
by Sean (crossroads71)
2002

You're my understanding heart, my proof of life beyond. Your loving smile and soulful laugh bring peace to me. You taught me so much with very few words, you forgave with so little effort. You showed me appreciation for the small things in life and you accepted my view of this place.

I am fond of the times that we spent together, the conversations and special moments we had. Our family is you and me.

I understand your feelings and dreams, I know you'll find happiness and peace. You've given me more than is ever expected, unconditional love. I love you with all of my heart. I'll always be with you on earth and beyond. Your green roses will forever be with me.

debabbott 09-07-2011 10:41 PM

Green Roses
 
This is the story behind the green roses. I was gifted, from my mother, a mirror of roses of a country rose. In 1991, I painted the roses green. This was significant for me to denote the roses were ever growing. My father had died that year, and he was so significant in my life as well as my sons.

These words from my son, were so very significant for me as I made my way to New Mexico.

Love, Deb

debabbott 09-07-2011 11:08 PM

Going to bed now to get some much needed sleep. I thank you all in your participation in my life.

Love you, Deb

Wolfdog 09-07-2011 11:11 PM

For Deb
 
Feeling all of this loving energy and sending more to you now. But, for your request...I really wasn't going to write more here. Was wondering if the hawk appeared to you on Sunday afternoon as two appreared here in the mountains where I live on that day. Was intensely thinking of you and Sean and praying for you at the time . They circled and circled freely riding on the wind...near and then far and further away. Another medecine meaning of their appearance is the gift of clarity. For some of us this great gift arrives in the presense of this great tragedy and experience of the hardest lesson. I am remembering when my son was in great jeopardy many years ago(for many years) and how numb and paralyzed I felt with no way to really be there and help him . Only a mother can know this deep grief and the harsh teacher it represents. Only the strength of a mother can fathom such grief and return to the world with a heart made stronger and more compassionate for all beings who suffer...not only their own child but for all of humanity's children. Sending you peace to your heart and soul Deb and feeling very sad with you but, trusting your deep understanding that each soul is on its own journey and that souls choices may not be acceptable to some individal egos...but, it is really ultimately not their business. Praying for you and Seans complete recovery. There are no mistakes in the universe...although I know this to be true...it is hard to accept...especially when a beloved child is in jeopardy. Stay strong my friend and know the power of your love will truly create healing on all levels...even those we lowly earh beings may not fathom at this time or even in this incarnation which is but an eyeblink in the universe.

Love and Hugs,
Wolfdog

debabbott 09-07-2011 11:21 PM

Wolfdog,
I am with you in your knowings. All I can do now is simply, "Walk in beauty."
And I do go forth in that manner. Thank you and all here for your tender loving care to share this with me.

I am ever so grateful.

Love, Deb


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:44 AM.

Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.